Do We Owe Our Parents for Raising Us?

[Kaplok Kaplok]

THE THREE ARGUMENT TO PARENTAL OBLIGATION:
1. Unconditional View
2. Conditional View
3. Friendship View

And emphasizes Jane English' friendship argument.

"It's the parents who owes their kids.."

It is recommended to think of yourself not only as a child but also as a (future) parent to understand the argument.

 

[Slime-]

Para sakin paps, wala tayong utang na loob sa kanila, kasi di naman natin pinili ang mabuhay sa mundo, dapat sila ang maayos na nag palaki satin at the same time sa sarili nila, kasi sila ang gumusto na mag anak.

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

Para sakin paps, wala tayong utang na loob sa kanila, kasi di naman natin pinili ang mabuhay sa mundo, dapat sila ang maayos na nag palaki satin at the same time sa sarili nila, kasi sila ang gumusto na mag anak.

Mas maganda pakinggan "wala tayong obligasyon".. may negative connotation kasi pag "wala tayong utang na loob".. pero agree ako haha..

 

[ronmar5]

It's their choice so it's their responsibility.

Simpleng sagot: HINDE

 

[FreeAllYouCan-OFFICIAL]

There is now law requiring it. then its a no. its up to the child.

 

[faye422]

Nope. Sila may gusto mag anak kaya sila ang may responsibility na ibigay ang needs ng mga anak nila. But on the other hand, pwede (voluntary not mandatory) tayo magbigay sa kanila yung kaya lang natin.

Kaya ngayun sobrang gusto ko ng kumuha ng stable job for my daughter. Para din sa future nya.

 

[Punkass]

Maraming ganyan ginawang investment Ang anak ahahaha gumawa Ng anak para pang retirement nila ahahaha lol Pinoy toxic mindset.

 

[Moonwater]

Its their choice na mag ka anak so nope

 

[MICCA H2O]

nasa sayo naman if mag bibigay ka or hindi. syempre kadugo mu yan bigyan mo pag meron ka di namn iba yan.

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

Nope. Sila may gusto mag anak kaya sila ang may responsibility na ibigay ang needs ng mga anak nila. But on the other hand, pwede (voluntary not mandatory) tayo magbigay sa kanila yung kaya lang natin.

Kaya ngayun sobrang gusto ko ng kumuha ng stable job for my daughter. Para din sa future nya.

Good luck paps. Wag na natin ipasa sakanila ung nakagisnan nating kultura.
Pero ano't anu pa man mangyari, basta alam mong ginawa mo makakaya mo goods nmn yan.

 

[jayendecastro]

Bilang isang anak i do owe my parents sa madaming bagay… sobrang dami nila naitulong skin even up to now naka alalay pa din sila skin even financially pa nga minsan… good thing about them eh they never ask anything like money smin.. lambing lang na hihingi kunwari 1k or 2k or papabili ng ulam or ung silip silipin sila paminsan minsan..

Now ako nman as a parent… im trying din na eventually di din ako aasa sa mga anak ko or ung magiging status ko pag tumanda eh problemahin pa nila.. nagsasave kami.. may mga health and life insurance para no matter wat meron pa din sila aasahan..

We try to provide them ng more than sa bare minimum na basta buhayin lang sila.. we try to make them happy and try to teach them ng sense of responsibility sa mga actions nila whether good or bad.. i also teach din na maging grateful…

I will not obligate them to give us what they have.. but i do expect them to be there if they could..

 

[abutchiki143]

Mas maganda pakinggan "wala tayong obligasyon".. may negative connotation kasi pag "wala tayong utang na loob".. pero agree ako haha.

U knew the right words paps. Agree ako sa sinabi mo

 

[stellarium]

parang mahirap ata lunukin yung argumento na yan magulang mo pa may utang na loob sayo kahit na naging rebel kid ako, sinuway ko noon ang mga payo nila, binigyan ko sila ng madaming sakit ng ulo at hindi ako nag live up the way they expected, tinataw ko padin malaking utang na loob ang nilabas nila ko dito sa mundo na to, pag aaruga, unconditional love na binigay nila saken, ang mga bagay na yan hindi ko mababayan at matutumbasan ng kahit anong salapi, yaman na pede ko kitain..

Pede ang argumentong ganyan sa mga indibidwal na lumaki at namulat sa mga iresponsable, pabaya at abusadong magulang.

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

parang mahirap ata lunukin yung argumento na yan magulang mo pa may utang na loob sayo kahit na naging rebel kid ako, sinuway ko noon ang mga payo nila, binigyan ko sila ng madaming sakit ng ulo at hindi ako nag live up the way they expected, tinataw ko padin malaking utang na loob ang nilabas nila ko dito sa mundo na to, pag aaruga, unconditional love na binigay nila saken, ang mga bagay na yan hindi ko mababayan at matutumbasan ng kahit anong salapi, yaman na pede ko kitain..

Pede ang argumentong ganyan sa mga indibidwal na lumaki at namulat sa mga iresponsable, pabaya at abusadong magulang.

I agree. Actually ung existence ng mga masamang magulang(sa iba) ang nagiging dahilan kung bakit mas naappreciate natin ang magulang natin, kaya mas lalong mahirap matanggap ung mismong argument na "It's the parents who owes their kids.."

Pero, may punto nmn din kung papakinggan mo nang buo ang context. Lalo kung coconsider mos din na may mga anak na walang utang na loob kahit mabuti ang magulang nila. So you should also accept some credit I guess? Malakas lng din tlga ung argument ng "conditional view" kung saan pasok ang nararamadaman mo about sa quote na iyon, na hindi din nmn naiiba sa akin.

Gaya mo, naging suwail na anak din ako. At the same time may mga punto na naging abuso din nmn ang trato ng magulang ko sakin. Kahit ganon, mahirap padin sakin lunukin yung linya na iyan personally.

I will not obligate them to give us what they have.. but i do expect them to be there if they could..

The truth is, kung napalaki sila ng tama, regardless of how they feel about your parenting style; They will be grateful wether you expect it or not.

But I'm sure meron prin aalma sa statement na yan when we realize it also implies na babalik din sa parents ang sisi kung ingrata ang kinalabasan na anak.

 

[plhbg1]

it would be the law vs the stu̾pid culture and religion, culture keeps injecting that we need to care for them especially when they need it but actually it is them who goes to jail when they don't care for us, culture and religion has no real jail but the law has so my answer would be "hell no" and i am not requiring my sons and daughters ffs

 

[foxicle]

The truth is, its the other way around, it is you who chose your parents.

The reason: You need a specific condition to work on a specific issue in your karma. You need to be born on the precise people that will produce the genes, environment, sustenance, culture, mind, and etc for your own growth. You made the choice to be born here.

That is why it is included in the 10 commandments and other spiritual writings, in summary, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.

The arrogance of man from his "analysis and knowledge" knows no bound.

He hath forsaken the very bosom that nourished him.

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

The truth is, its the other way around, it is you who chose your parents.

The reason: You need a specific condition to work on a specific issue in your karma. You need to be born on the precise people that will produce the genes, environment, sustenance, culture, mind, and etc for your own growth. You made the choice to be born here.

That is why it is included in the 10 commandments and other spiritual writings, in summary, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.

The arrogance of man from his "analysis and knowledge" knows no bound.

He hath forsaken the very bosom that nourished him.

Contrary to popular belief, in the commandment:

HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER

we interpret this as LOVE your parents, or SUPPORT your parents.

This is not the same. You can dislike your parents but still honor them.

It is a christian moral obligation to honor what they say, but as an ãdül† it is not about agreeing with, being affectionate, or supporting them. At some point you might hate thier guts, but you should always assume that they are wiser than you. That is why the word is "HONOR".

It is not like the first commandment that uses the word "LOVE".

If we would put justification on LOVING our parents, "do unto others as you have them do unto you" is the actual pronciple we are following. Which is a prescription, not a commandment.

Call it arrogant if you want, but when you have children of your own, you would understand how toxic it is to oblige them of loving and supporting you financially. This culture has to stop.

Madali gamitin ang kahit anong spiritual text para ijustify ang opinion natin, whether by misinterpreting or choosing one that agrees with your world view. Kaya nmn matagal nang ginawa ang separation ng church and state dahil sa ganyang practices.

 

[foxicle]

There is a reason why a person is born in that culture, there is no other way but to choose that specific culture.

Our karma is intertwined with our parents.

There is a purpose. We must acknowledge the present condition and row our boat gently not destroy what is
settled far above the subtleties where we have no control. There is wisdom in every situation. Control lies within ourselves.

Deny the cross and you deny your chance on a long queue of rebirth.

Mastering ourselves is the only leverage needed to turn the tide.

To make it more familiar, think it this way.

The world is presenting you a drama where you are torn between choices, you must choose wisely, wisdom lies in sacrifice like what the Christ did. Sacrifice is the key.

 

[jayendecastro]

I agree. Actually ung existence ng mga masamang magulang(sa iba) ang nagiging dahilan kung bakit mas naappreciate natin ang magulang natin, kaya mas lalong mahirap matanggap ung mismong argument na "It's the parents who owes their kids.."

Pero, may punto nmn din kung papakinggan mo nang buo ang context. Lalo kung coconsider mos din na may mga anak na walang utang na loob kahit mabuti ang magulang nila. So you should also accept some credit I guess? Malakas lng din tlga ung argument ng "conditional view" kung saan pasok ang nararamadaman mo about sa quote na iyon, na hindi din nmn naiiba sa akin.

Gaya mo, naging suwail na anak din ako. At the same time may mga punto na naging abuso din nmn ang trato ng magulang ko sakin. Kahit ganon, mahirap padin sakin lunukin yung linya na iyan personally.


The truth is, kung napalaki sila ng tama, regardless of how they feel about your parenting style; They will be grateful wether you expect it or not.

But I'm sure meron prin aalma sa statement na yan when we realize it also implies na babalik din sa parents ang sisi kung ingrata ang kinalabasan na anak.

I understand na may mga taong ganon na sobrang ingrata towards their own parents pero pagdating sa ibang tao…dami ko din kilala ganan…

Pero yeah.. may kanya kanya reason nman why some children have that gap sa parents nila.. depende din minsan sa parenting style kung they can easily communicate with each other.. ako sa parents ko very frank ako na sinsabi ko na isave nila ang pera nila kasi pag may nangyari wala tlaga aasahan sa akin financially pag big amounts…and my parents understand that kasi alam nila na i also have my own family… and sila nman eh kahit 70s na may sarili pa din work at other income.. wala sila pakialam kung gusto nmin gumastos para mga anak nmin ng sobra paminsan minsan basta wag sila hihingan ng para sa mga wants lang… they are still very generous smin magkakapatid even sa mga mrs nmin at lalo na sa mga apo…

Pasaway din nmn kame magkakapatid… as in madami kame kalokohan na di lang basta basta madaling patawarin pero still they supported us…

Jan kasi ako nanggagaling kaya di ko makita ang sarili ko na kaya kong sabihin na i dont owe my parents anything…i owe them a lot…

it would be the law vs the stu̾pid culture and religion, culture keeps injecting that we need to care for them especially when they need it but actually it is them who goes to jail when they don't care for us, culture and religion has no real jail but the law has so my answer would be "hell no" and i am not requiring my sons and daughters ffs

Well ako personally, i will choose to care for my parents “especially when they need it”

Can i ask hanggang sang stage ka lang dapat suportahan at alagaan ng magulang mo?? Tuloy tuloy ba dapat habang buhay pa sila or ikaw?? Lifetime ba ang responsibilidad nila sayo?? Or ikW sa sons and daughters mo?

The truth is, its the other way around, it is you who chose your parents.

The reason: You need a specific condition to work on a specific issue in your karma. You need to be born on the precise people that will produce the genes, environment, sustenance, culture, mind, and etc for your own growth. You made the choice to be born here.

That is why it is included in the 10 commandments and other spiritual writings, in summary, HONOR YOUR FATHER AND MOTHER.

The arrogance of man from his "analysis and knowledge" knows no bound.

He hath forsaken the very bosom that nourished him.

made the choice of parents …

So those children born to abusive parents made that choice? They chose to be a child to a father who r@p3s them everyday? Or a mother who beats them endlessly??

Magkakaron ba ng help sa growth nila yan??

 

[foxicle]

made the choice of parents …

So those children born to abusive parents made that choice? They chose to be a child to a father who r@p3s them everyday? Or a mother who beats them endlessly??

Magkakaron ba ng help sa growth nila yan??

All I can share is that we have made a choice, and we always have a choice. The veil of forgetfulness envelops us the moment we arrive here. No matter how 'bad' the situation may be, we have chosen it.

During examination all the books are sealed. You are tested to see how far you have developed.