Hi, please call me Mrs. Saigon. I am married and we have 2 children.
Before we got married, he had cheating issues in the past. It happened not just once but multiple times. Now, after getting married and having kids, I thought he has changed. We got locked out together since the pandemic and we were fine. I was happy.
But, that what's I thought. He hasn't been in any official affair but he still is constantly looking out on other women whenever we go out (even with the kids). He couldn't keep it discrete. He will stair at the girls and the looks on his face would show he is really attracted and I find it so disrespectful. Why is he doing that in front of me?
He has also been attracted to my bestfriend. I have noticed that since I was *******t. He never admit to it. But I know and I am sure he is up until now. Long story short, I cut her off to keep my marriage and family. It was a hard decision for me. My best friend and I have been friends since we were 8.
I came from a broken family, so I stand firm keeping my family together no matter what cause I'm afraid my children will go through what I've gone through. It was so hard growing up with separated parents and it's a nightmare for me to think my kids would grow up like that too.
It's been quite a while since I kept distance from my best friend. Me and my husband are working in our relationship. I could say we are happy. We go out on dates, picnic and do normal stuffs that we do together. But it doesn't change the fact that he still looks out for other girls whenever we go out. I don't think he will ever change. Yes, he can say I am over reacting, but can he blame me? He's been disrespecting me ever since with this behavior. We've discussed about it too many times but I don't think he ever learned. I don't want to disappoint my self anymore.
Recently, I met with my best friend again. I told him I will be meeting her and he looked sad when I said I'm going alone. As if he was disappointed that he won't see her. I mean, I could be wrong, maybe it's just me being paranoid. But honestly? That's not my main issue right now. My issue is that, I don't feel like I will ever have peace of mind being with him. Our entire relationship, I feel like it's my job to always watch him to make sure he won't cheat on me AGAIN.
Lately, I feel like I lost care and love for him. That I'm just staying because of our children. I've been on this phase before, but this time I wanted to be free from this. I want peace of mind. I'm so sick of being paranoid and insecure. I even wish that he cheat on me so I can have enough reason to leave him. I couldn't leave him with that reason, ofcourse everybody would wonder why would I leave my husband just because of that.
After all, I know he loves me. I wanted to leave him, but I'm torn. Our children are very close to him than to me. He takes care of them since the pandemic, he lost his job and never got back since we decided it's better for him to take care of the kids. I work at home and I provide our needs since then, but it's no big deal. I never asked him to get back to work so he can provide. I was happy with our set up that we get to see each other everyday. No LDR to avoid my paranoia.
I also feel sorry for him that if I leave him, he would have no one. He has nothing. No job or close family that's here. All he has are his relatives that doesn't really treat him as family. I feel sorry that I don't love him anymore.
I'm seeking for your kind advise, please don't judge.
Before we got married, he had cheating issues in the past. It happened not just once but multiple times. Now, after getting married and having kids, I thought he has changed. We got locked out together since the pandemic and we were fine. I was happy.
But, that what's I thought. He hasn't been in any official affair but he still is constantly looking out on other women whenever we go out (even with the kids). He couldn't keep it discrete. He will stair at the girls and the looks on his face would show he is really attracted and I find it so disrespectful. Why is he doing that in front of me?
He has also been attracted to my bestfriend. I have noticed that since I was *******t. He never admit to it. But I know and I am sure he is up until now. Long story short, I cut her off to keep my marriage and family. It was a hard decision for me. My best friend and I have been friends since we were 8.
I came from a broken family, so I stand firm keeping my family together no matter what cause I'm afraid my children will go through what I've gone through. It was so hard growing up with separated parents and it's a nightmare for me to think my kids would grow up like that too.
It's been quite a while since I kept distance from my best friend. Me and my husband are working in our relationship. I could say we are happy. We go out on dates, picnic and do normal stuffs that we do together. But it doesn't change the fact that he still looks out for other girls whenever we go out. I don't think he will ever change. Yes, he can say I am over reacting, but can he blame me? He's been disrespecting me ever since with this behavior. We've discussed about it too many times but I don't think he ever learned. I don't want to disappoint my self anymore.
Recently, I met with my best friend again. I told him I will be meeting her and he looked sad when I said I'm going alone. As if he was disappointed that he won't see her. I mean, I could be wrong, maybe it's just me being paranoid. But honestly? That's not my main issue right now. My issue is that, I don't feel like I will ever have peace of mind being with him. Our entire relationship, I feel like it's my job to always watch him to make sure he won't cheat on me AGAIN.
Lately, I feel like I lost care and love for him. That I'm just staying because of our children. I've been on this phase before, but this time I wanted to be free from this. I want peace of mind. I'm so sick of being paranoid and insecure. I even wish that he cheat on me so I can have enough reason to leave him. I couldn't leave him with that reason, ofcourse everybody would wonder why would I leave my husband just because of that.
After all, I know he loves me. I wanted to leave him, but I'm torn. Our children are very close to him than to me. He takes care of them since the pandemic, he lost his job and never got back since we decided it's better for him to take care of the kids. I work at home and I provide our needs since then, but it's no big deal. I never asked him to get back to work so he can provide. I was happy with our set up that we get to see each other everyday. No LDR to avoid my paranoia.
I also feel sorry for him that if I leave him, he would have no one. He has nothing. No job or close family that's here. All he has are his relatives that doesn't really treat him as family. I feel sorry that I don't love him anymore.
I'm seeking for your kind advise, please don't judge.
. Pero pag tapos nun wala na. Normal na lang yun sakin (for me ha). Pero kung anjan sa tabi mo partner mo tapos titingin pa sa iba at di na tinigilan eh ibang usapan na yun. Sabi nga nila, "once a cheater, always a cheater" pero nasa tao yun. Malalaman mong hindi sya nagbago kapag palagi na nga kaung magkasama pero ganun pa din sya. Sa tingin ko naaawa ka na lang din sa kanya, kasi kaya mo na syang iwan kahit kelan mo gusto pero ayaw mo kasi wala syang ibang matatakbuhan (ni wala syang work and relatives na really treats him well). Nasa sayo pa rin ang desisyon po. Be prepare for the consequences of your actions. Yun lang po. But stay strong & god bless 
