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- May 3, 2019
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Its already 2:00AM but..
Days, weeks has been past but i should already accept the reality/fact pero i still got this feeling na I can't move on im staying and i dont know why, yes isa akong martyr at isang malaking T.
We're back on chatting again and things to be clear out. I need to let go and erase What i saw past days and what i found out to her.
She unsent a message that i already seen containing "I miss you, sorry sa nagawa at nasabi ko ang gulo lang tlga ng isip ko this days" pero hindi ko pinansin dahil nasa denial stage na ako ng pag move-on, unfollowed, restricted msg, delete convos pero i still keep chasing her di ko mapiligilan kinamusta ko siya if she's still okay pero "hindi daw"
She feel so sorry, gusto niya ayusin relasyon namin because of what she did past weeks resulting negativity on our relationship pero hindi niya alam paano siya babawi sakin. Hayaan mong ako umayos ng relasyon natin kasi ako ang nagkamali this time.
Ayoko ng makaramdam that time dahil down na down na ako, pain, disappoinments, sadness pero it keeps going on my mind na im staying, i will keep going to fix these mess, set a side yung mga nangyari at sabi ko sa sarili ko na i can do this once again, iniisip ko nalang na either i let go all of these or not its the same pain at mas malala pa kung wala akong gagawing actions.
May magandang result or wala yung naging move ko its just the same results which is regret for the rest of my life.
I should be prepared baka pinaasa niya lang ako, baka she's still using me but then bahala na.
I will use this feelings if will turn out to be good edi good kase yung feelings ko gagaan na but kung it will turn out very bad atleast yung feelings na to mauubos nalang.
We're communicating each other, she's Still busy on her daily work so ako pa rin yung nahihirapan kase para akong ***** nag aantay but im trying to understand her.
If she want to fix it, she should do her move right? Masakit pa rin sakin kase alam natin if you really love the person do the move. Pero wala eto ako umaasa..
So i finally ask her if she's still love me, if meron pang feelings pero hindi nagreply, naka restrict din ako I think.
I ask her na kase di ko na alam saan ako lulugar even sabi nasabi niya na she miss me , she's guilty on what happen what she did.
Everytime na iisipin ko na i can do this, there's still a last chance gumagaan yung pakiramdam ko pero once na di ulit siya nagrereply inatake ulit ako ng lungkot kase parang walang nangyayaring actions galing sakanya naeewan ulit ako.
Hopefully mahal pa rin niya ako kase kung sabihin nyang hindi magiging magulo na isipan ko.
Mas gusto ko atang kaharapin yung mismong pain para matapos na. Para makita ko yung acceptance.
Whatever happen, it will happen.
Days, weeks has been past but i should already accept the reality/fact pero i still got this feeling na I can't move on im staying and i dont know why, yes isa akong martyr at isang malaking T.
We're back on chatting again and things to be clear out. I need to let go and erase What i saw past days and what i found out to her.
She unsent a message that i already seen containing "I miss you, sorry sa nagawa at nasabi ko ang gulo lang tlga ng isip ko this days" pero hindi ko pinansin dahil nasa denial stage na ako ng pag move-on, unfollowed, restricted msg, delete convos pero i still keep chasing her di ko mapiligilan kinamusta ko siya if she's still okay pero "hindi daw"
She feel so sorry, gusto niya ayusin relasyon namin because of what she did past weeks resulting negativity on our relationship pero hindi niya alam paano siya babawi sakin. Hayaan mong ako umayos ng relasyon natin kasi ako ang nagkamali this time.
Ayoko ng makaramdam that time dahil down na down na ako, pain, disappoinments, sadness pero it keeps going on my mind na im staying, i will keep going to fix these mess, set a side yung mga nangyari at sabi ko sa sarili ko na i can do this once again, iniisip ko nalang na either i let go all of these or not its the same pain at mas malala pa kung wala akong gagawing actions.
May magandang result or wala yung naging move ko its just the same results which is regret for the rest of my life.
I should be prepared baka pinaasa niya lang ako, baka she's still using me but then bahala na.
I will use this feelings if will turn out to be good edi good kase yung feelings ko gagaan na but kung it will turn out very bad atleast yung feelings na to mauubos nalang.
We're communicating each other, she's Still busy on her daily work so ako pa rin yung nahihirapan kase para akong ***** nag aantay but im trying to understand her.
If she want to fix it, she should do her move right? Masakit pa rin sakin kase alam natin if you really love the person do the move. Pero wala eto ako umaasa..
So i finally ask her if she's still love me, if meron pang feelings pero hindi nagreply, naka restrict din ako I think.
I ask her na kase di ko na alam saan ako lulugar even sabi nasabi niya na she miss me , she's guilty on what happen what she did.
Everytime na iisipin ko na i can do this, there's still a last chance gumagaan yung pakiramdam ko pero once na di ulit siya nagrereply inatake ulit ako ng lungkot kase parang walang nangyayaring actions galing sakanya naeewan ulit ako.
Hopefully mahal pa rin niya ako kase kung sabihin nyang hindi magiging magulo na isipan ko.
Mas gusto ko atang kaharapin yung mismong pain para matapos na. Para makita ko yung acceptance.
Whatever happen, it will happen.
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