-simplice-
Forum Expert
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2018
- Posts
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╬═╬ \O
╬═╬ /▌
╬═╬ //
KAHiT GAANO KAHABA ANG HAGDAN AY AAKYATiN KO MAABOT LAMANG ANG PUSO MO! :"> lol'z xD
=====
Nilapitan kita pero nilayuan mo ako
Kinausap kita pero tinitigan mo lang ako
hinabot kita pero tinakbuhan mo ako
ganya ba talaga
kayong mga
"unggoy"
(peace)
=====
Laugh is....
daw ang gamitin sabi ni mam para madaling mabura...
=====
TRIVIA
did y0u kn0w
that
all numbers
fr0m
1 to 999 d0esn't
have the letter
A?
uy! Magbibilang
yan agad!
=====
Narinig ko ang pagkanta mo kagabi...
Maganda ang boses mo....
magtiwala ka sa sarili mo....
May talent ka at kaya mo yan!!!
GIVE IT ALL!! GO ON !!
Huwag mong itago ang bigay ni LORD!!
Sige! Isigaw Mo!!!!
Tahooooo!!!!
=====
Promoter: Misis,kpg pnaghalo ang Surf at Tide, bubula kya?
Misis: Aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bkit nmn?
Promoter: Wla png tubig!
Excited?!
=====
Kung
bbgyan
ka ng
pgkakataon
na mging
"artista"
ano ka?
SiNUSWERTE??
--hahaha.
=====
A nestea
-is the best policy. Uuuy...Babasahin niya ulit!
=====
Kapag bored ka na at walang magawa
magbukas ka ng ziper
ilagay mo ang kamay sa loob at ilabas mo
ang libro galing sa bag mo at magbasa ka!!!
kala mo ha!!!
=====
A riddle that will kill your brain
there are only 3 words in the english language that ends in "gry"
1 is ANGRY and the other is HUNGRY
Everyone knows what the 3rd one means and what it stands for
Everyone uses then everyday and if you listen to me carefully, i've given you the third word already.. what is it??_ _ _ gry!!! No reply no IQ
=====
Pare 1: noong buntis ang misis ko.. paborito nya ang Lord of the Rings 2 Towers.. ayun.. kambal anak namin...
Pare 2: ang misis ko.. paborito nya yung The 3 Musketeers.. ayun.. triplets anak namin..
Biglang nanghina yung isang kumpare nila...
Pare 1 at 2: Bakit?? ano bang paborito ng misis mo??
Pare 3: 300!!!
=====
@ a bar...
Girl: whoever can use the words LIVER and CHEESE with style will be my date tonight..
Piolo: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me...
Sam: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love u...
Pacman: Hey!!!! you two!! liver alone!! cheese mine!!!
dale ni pacman!!!
=====
Girl language
if i dont call you (its because im waiting for you to call me)
when i walk away from you mad ( follow me)
when i stare at your mouth(kiss me)
when i push or hit you(grab me and dont let go)
when im quiet(ask me whats wrong!!)
when i ignore you(give me your attention)
when i pull away(pull me back)
when you see me at my worst(tell me im beautiful)
when you see me start crying(hold me and tell me everything will be alright)
in short:
(kung walang babae.. walang maarte)...
hahahaha
=====
Spanish Poem
el papa la bomba
y mama de cama
tres beses birada
contodo romansa
el papa pagod na
la mama gusto pa
el papa tacas na
porque te-te lambot na
=====
Mister: adik talaga ako dito sa alimango
Misis: naku ingat ka sa cholesterol niyan!!! may kilala ako sa tondo na kumain ng tatlong matatabang alimango na puro aligue habang nakikipaginuman
Mister: talaga!!! tapos ano nangyari??
Misis: lumabas lang siya sandali para jumingle ayun bigla na lang bumulagta patay na!!!
Mister: inatake sa puso??
Misis: hindi, sinaksak ng adik!!! marami talagang loko dyan sa Tondo!!!
=====
Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life....
---rules sa patintero
Make sense hindi ba??
=====
Piolo: i just need five things to live....
Some friends...
Some food...
Some work...
Some love....
and...
Some...
some Milby....
4ever!!!
=====
Paano kung tamad na akong tamarin???
eh d ang sipag ko na nun??
ayoko nun...
nakakatamad!!!
=====
sabi nila
balang araw mahahanap ko din
yung magmamahal sa kin ng tunay...
natawa ako....
wala lang, natawa lang ako.. hahaha!!! masama ba tumawa???
Hahaha.. nakakatawa nga talaga! Toinks..
=====
Misis: Hon, bakit ang dumi dumi mo at ang baho mo pa??!!!
Mister: nakita mo ba yung maliit na imburnal sa kanto naten???
Misis: oo!!
Mister: puwes.. ako!! hindi ko nakita!!!
=====
D ba marunong kang mag-mahal?? arrange mo nga itong rambol words....
GEOVPUINTD
clue: sinasabi mo ito sa mahal mo pag may problema kayo. wait ko answer mo.. no reply.. no i.q.
=====
kahit gaano kalalim ang ilog, hanggang ****** lang ng duck!!!!
=====
when your lips are silent
and your eyes are closed
and your ears are deaf
it only means one thing....
may discount ka sa jeep
disabled ka friend!!!!
=====
Huwag mong ikakahiya kung may eyebag ka...
kasi...
pinagpupuyatan mo yan...
yes.. puyat pa more!hahaha... grabe yung eyebag ko di na mawala wala! Hahaha..
=====
3 girls ang halos sabay sabay na umuwi sa kanilang boarding house. Galing sa kanilang date...
Girl1: hay!!! exciting ang date ko.. look!!! nagulo ang hair ko..
Girl2: ah sa akin ang the best!!! look, nabura ang make up ko!!!
Girl3: (natatawa lang sa dalawang babae.. tinanggal ang *****, hinagis sa wall.. dumikit!!!) yan ang the best na date!!!
=====
huwag kang maniniwala sa ibang tao
kasi baka mali ang advice nila
huwag ka rin maniniwala sa akin
kasi baka mali din ako
isa lang ang dapat mong paniwalaan!!!
REDHORSE!!!
Dahil " ito ang tama!!!"
=====
Exercise daily
keep your body healthy
like my lola
She was 35 when she started walking 5kms a day
Now she's 98 and until now...
hindi pa umuuwi..
wala ba dyan??
=====
Anak: Tay, nasugatan ako!!!
Tatay: Buti nga hindi ka umiyak.. Lalaki talaga ang anak ko!!!
anak: syempre naman po tay, sabi nga sa kanta ni Fergie, "Big Girls don't cry!!!"
=====
Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found copper wire says
"Very good!!!our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!!!"
Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says
"my God!!! this means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 yrs ago!!!"
Pinoy digs 500m and found nothing says
"anlupit ng mga ninuno natin WIRELESS!!!"
=====
if youre ears itch, someone is thinking of you..
if youre eyes itch, someone wants to see you..
if youre lips itch, someone is dying to kiss you
if youre entire body itches.. hehehe
ano akala mo?? ligo ka na oi...
=====
Sa Math Class
Teacher: tanong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karnet at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Buknoy: 2 po mam!!!
Teacher: at kung hinati ko pa pareho??
Buknoy: 4 piraso po
Teacher: hinati ko ulit
Buknoy: 8 piraso po
Teacher: hinati ko pa
Buknoy: 16 po mam
Teacher: hinati ko pa
Buknoy: 32 piraso po
Teacher: kung hinati ko pa ulit?
Buknoy: 64 po!!!(galit)
Teacher: hinati ko pa 2 beses ko pang hinati
Buknoy: lintek ka mam!!! GINILING na yun!!! GINILING !!!
=====
Logic 101:
Life is easier if we are
NOT
good looking...
but since we are...
.. Life is difficult...
hehehehe...
Lol
Bye guys.. hahaha! Bahala na kayo magbasa..
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╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬
╬═╬ \O
╬═╬ /▌
╬═╬ //
KAHiT GAANO KAHABA ANG HAGDAN AY AAKYATiN KO MAABOT LAMANG ANG PUSO MO! :"> lol'z xD
=====
Nilapitan kita pero nilayuan mo ako
Kinausap kita pero tinitigan mo lang ako
hinabot kita pero tinakbuhan mo ako
ganya ba talaga
kayong mga
"unggoy"
(peace)
=====
Laugh is....
daw ang gamitin sabi ni mam para madaling mabura...
=====
TRIVIA
did y0u kn0w
that
all numbers
fr0m
1 to 999 d0esn't
have the letter
A?
uy! Magbibilang
yan agad!
=====
Narinig ko ang pagkanta mo kagabi...
Maganda ang boses mo....
magtiwala ka sa sarili mo....
May talent ka at kaya mo yan!!!
GIVE IT ALL!! GO ON !!
Huwag mong itago ang bigay ni LORD!!
Sige! Isigaw Mo!!!!
Tahooooo!!!!
=====
Promoter: Misis,kpg pnaghalo ang Surf at Tide, bubula kya?
Misis: Aba syempre!
Promoter: Mali!
Misis: Bkit nmn?
Promoter: Wla png tubig!
Excited?!
=====
Kung
bbgyan
ka ng
pgkakataon
na mging
"artista"
ano ka?
SiNUSWERTE??
--hahaha.
=====
A nestea
-is the best policy. Uuuy...Babasahin niya ulit!
=====
Kapag bored ka na at walang magawa
magbukas ka ng ziper
ilagay mo ang kamay sa loob at ilabas mo
ang libro galing sa bag mo at magbasa ka!!!
kala mo ha!!!
=====
A riddle that will kill your brain
there are only 3 words in the english language that ends in "gry"
1 is ANGRY and the other is HUNGRY
Everyone knows what the 3rd one means and what it stands for
Everyone uses then everyday and if you listen to me carefully, i've given you the third word already.. what is it??_ _ _ gry!!! No reply no IQ
=====
Pare 1: noong buntis ang misis ko.. paborito nya ang Lord of the Rings 2 Towers.. ayun.. kambal anak namin...
Pare 2: ang misis ko.. paborito nya yung The 3 Musketeers.. ayun.. triplets anak namin..
Biglang nanghina yung isang kumpare nila...
Pare 1 at 2: Bakit?? ano bang paborito ng misis mo??
Pare 3: 300!!!
=====
@ a bar...
Girl: whoever can use the words LIVER and CHEESE with style will be my date tonight..
Piolo: steak that liver and melt that cheese on me...
Sam: i hate liver but i love cheese as i love u...
Pacman: Hey!!!! you two!! liver alone!! cheese mine!!!
dale ni pacman!!!
=====
Girl language
if i dont call you (its because im waiting for you to call me)
when i walk away from you mad ( follow me)
when i stare at your mouth(kiss me)
when i push or hit you(grab me and dont let go)
when im quiet(ask me whats wrong!!)
when i ignore you(give me your attention)
when i pull away(pull me back)
when you see me at my worst(tell me im beautiful)
when you see me start crying(hold me and tell me everything will be alright)
in short:
(kung walang babae.. walang maarte)...
hahahaha
=====
Spanish Poem
el papa la bomba
y mama de cama
tres beses birada
contodo romansa
el papa pagod na
la mama gusto pa
el papa tacas na
porque te-te lambot na
=====
Mister: adik talaga ako dito sa alimango
Misis: naku ingat ka sa cholesterol niyan!!! may kilala ako sa tondo na kumain ng tatlong matatabang alimango na puro aligue habang nakikipaginuman
Mister: talaga!!! tapos ano nangyari??
Misis: lumabas lang siya sandali para jumingle ayun bigla na lang bumulagta patay na!!!
Mister: inatake sa puso??
Misis: hindi, sinaksak ng adik!!! marami talagang loko dyan sa Tondo!!!
=====
Its better to cross the line and suffer the consequences than to just stare at the line for the rest of your life....
---rules sa patintero
Make sense hindi ba??
=====
Piolo: i just need five things to live....
Some friends...
Some food...
Some work...
Some love....
and...
Some...
some Milby....
4ever!!!
=====
Paano kung tamad na akong tamarin???
eh d ang sipag ko na nun??
ayoko nun...
nakakatamad!!!
=====
sabi nila
balang araw mahahanap ko din
yung magmamahal sa kin ng tunay...
natawa ako....
wala lang, natawa lang ako.. hahaha!!! masama ba tumawa???
Hahaha.. nakakatawa nga talaga! Toinks..
=====
Misis: Hon, bakit ang dumi dumi mo at ang baho mo pa??!!!
Mister: nakita mo ba yung maliit na imburnal sa kanto naten???
Misis: oo!!
Mister: puwes.. ako!! hindi ko nakita!!!
=====
D ba marunong kang mag-mahal?? arrange mo nga itong rambol words....
GEOVPUINTD
clue: sinasabi mo ito sa mahal mo pag may problema kayo. wait ko answer mo.. no reply.. no i.q.
=====
kahit gaano kalalim ang ilog, hanggang ****** lang ng duck!!!!
=====
when your lips are silent
and your eyes are closed
and your ears are deaf
it only means one thing....
may discount ka sa jeep
disabled ka friend!!!!
=====
Huwag mong ikakahiya kung may eyebag ka...
kasi...
pinagpupuyatan mo yan...
yes.. puyat pa more!hahaha... grabe yung eyebag ko di na mawala wala! Hahaha..
=====
3 girls ang halos sabay sabay na umuwi sa kanilang boarding house. Galing sa kanilang date...
Girl1: hay!!! exciting ang date ko.. look!!! nagulo ang hair ko..
Girl2: ah sa akin ang the best!!! look, nabura ang make up ko!!!
Girl3: (natatawa lang sa dalawang babae.. tinanggal ang *****, hinagis sa wall.. dumikit!!!) yan ang the best na date!!!
=====
huwag kang maniniwala sa ibang tao
kasi baka mali ang advice nila
huwag ka rin maniniwala sa akin
kasi baka mali din ako
isa lang ang dapat mong paniwalaan!!!
REDHORSE!!!
Dahil " ito ang tama!!!"
=====
Exercise daily
keep your body healthy
like my lola
She was 35 when she started walking 5kms a day
Now she's 98 and until now...
hindi pa umuuwi..
wala ba dyan??
=====
Anak: Tay, nasugatan ako!!!
Tatay: Buti nga hindi ka umiyak.. Lalaki talaga ang anak ko!!!
anak: syempre naman po tay, sabi nga sa kanta ni Fergie, "Big Girls don't cry!!!"
=====
Japanese archeologist digging 100m down found copper wire says
"Very good!!!our great ancestors of 1000 years already had telephone!!!"
Americans dug 200m and found optical cable says
"my God!!! this means our great forefathers already had broadband 2000 yrs ago!!!"
Pinoy digs 500m and found nothing says
"anlupit ng mga ninuno natin WIRELESS!!!"
=====
if youre ears itch, someone is thinking of you..
if youre eyes itch, someone wants to see you..
if youre lips itch, someone is dying to kiss you
if youre entire body itches.. hehehe
ano akala mo?? ligo ka na oi...
=====
Sa Math Class
Teacher: tanong, kung meron akong 1 piraso ng karnet at hinati ko ito, ilang piraso na?
Buknoy: 2 po mam!!!
Teacher: at kung hinati ko pa pareho??
Buknoy: 4 piraso po
Teacher: hinati ko ulit
Buknoy: 8 piraso po
Teacher: hinati ko pa
Buknoy: 16 po mam
Teacher: hinati ko pa
Buknoy: 32 piraso po
Teacher: kung hinati ko pa ulit?
Buknoy: 64 po!!!(galit)
Teacher: hinati ko pa 2 beses ko pang hinati
Buknoy: lintek ka mam!!! GINILING na yun!!! GINILING !!!
=====
Logic 101:
Life is easier if we are
NOT
good looking...
but since we are...
.. Life is difficult...
hehehehe...
Lol
Bye guys.. hahaha! Bahala na kayo magbasa..
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