Closed Poem #5: who knows?

[MisterSenpai]

"Who Knows?"




Who knows?
Who knows you're not feeling well?
Who knows you can't say what you realy wanna say?
Who knows you can't do what you realy wanna do?
Who knows you don't want to suffer like the day you've been suffering before?
Who knows right?...


There's nobody! that's the realy fact in this "NOWADAYS" that they called to be..
There's nobody telling you that "you'll be okay my friend or somebody"

Keep in mind that in this whole world, there is nothing knows about who you realy are... NOBODY
But the realy Fact is... Who knows that you realy starving for a real love too anybody else in this world above

My friend.. keep trying to save this words in your mind that "No one knows who you realy are"
No one knows who and what you can do as you are
No one knows who can tell things to change your mind, body and dignity
No one knows who treat you the most important person in this world around us..

But GOD.. Only GOD will know who you are
What you feel, what you want
What you do and what you cannot
Who knows? if a miracle happens? who knows right?

Only our GOD..There is only one GOD who knows EVERYTHING...
Who knows ANYTHING
Who knows the beginning until the end..
Who knows right?

Save this words to your mind...
"Who knows?"




-Ateh-
cutemedievil

 

[cutemedievil]

Line #6: Unnecessary dots.
Line #7: Capitalization, some grammatical errors & a tiny misspelling.
Line #8: Unclear message, needs some work.
Line #9: Grammar po, and some misspellings.
Line #10: Message unclear, misspelled words, grammatical error.
Line #11: Grammar, and misspelling.
Line #12: Message unclear, needs some rework at word choices.
Line #13: Tiny grammatical error.
Line #14: Remove the extra dot. Maybe change it to "Only God knows who you are."?
Line #15: "What you CAN do and what you cannot."
Line #16: Maybe change it to "Who knows when will a miracle happen?"?
Line #17 & #18: Kind of redundant. It'll be better if you remove Line #18.
Line #19: Unnecessary dot, message unclear.
Line #21: "Save THESE words to your mind.", unnecessary dots.

That's all I can find. Idk, my eyes are kind of tired from all the binge-watching I did these past few days.

 

[cutemedievil]

Lines #3 & #4: Misspellings.

 

[MisterSenpai]

Lines #3 & #4: Misspellings.

T_T wag kang ganyan dinadown mo ako huhuhu

 

[MisterSenpai]

Line #6: Unnecessary dots.
Line #7: Capitalization, some grammatical errors & a tiny misspelling.
Line #8: Unclear message, needs some work.
Line #9: Grammar po, and some misspellings.
Line #10: Message unclear, misspelled words, grammatical error.
Line #11: Grammar, and misspelling.
Line #12: Message unclear, needs some rework at word choices.
Line #13: Tiny grammatical error.
Line #14: Remove the extra dot. Maybe change it to "Only God knows who you are."?
Line #15: "What you CAN do and what you cannot."
Line #16: Maybe change it to "Who knows when will a miracle happen?"?
Line #17 & #18: Kind of redundant. It'll be better if you remove Line #18.
Line #19: Unnecessary dot, message unclear.
Line #21: "Save THESE words to your mind.", unnecessary dots.

That's all I can find. Idk, my eyes are kind of tired from all the binge-watching I did these past few days.

salamat dito awesome.

 

[cutemedievil]

T_T wag kang ganyan dinadown mo ako huhuhu

We're here to learn. Dumaan ako sa ganyan. Hahaha

 

[MisterSenpai]

We're here to learn. Dumaan ako sa ganyan. Hahaha

magtagalog nalang kaya ako? wahahahah ang hirap ah.

 

[MisterSenpai]

di ko na pala pwede i edit i correct ko na sana

 

[cutemedievil]

magtagalog nalang kaya ako? wahahahah ang hirap ah.

If you want! Global language attracts global audience, just saying! Hahaha pero, maaga pa. There's plenty of room for learning pa. Tagalog muna if you want.

 

[Lightrash]

cutemedievil knows

 

[MisterSenpai]

If you want! Global language attracts global audience, just saying! Hahaha pero, maaga pa. There's plenty of room for learning pa. Tagalog muna if you want.

makatulog na nga lang wahahhaha it seems ..... youre interesting person huh...

 

[madogou]

Line #6: Unnecessary dots.
Line #7: Capitalization, some grammatical errors & a tiny misspelling.
Line #8: Unclear message, needs some work.
Line #9: Grammar po, and some misspellings.
Line #10: Message unclear, misspelled words, grammatical error.
Line #11: Grammar, and misspelling.
Line #12: Message unclear, needs some rework at word choices.
Line #13: Tiny grammatical error.
Line #14: Remove the extra dot. Maybe change it to "Only God knows who you are."?
Line #15: "What you CAN do and what you cannot."
Line #16: Maybe change it to "Who knows when will a miracle happen?"?
Line #17 & #18: Kind of redundant. It'll be better if you remove Line #18.
Line #19: Unnecessary dot, message unclear.
Line #21: "Save THESE words to your mind.", unnecessary dots.

That's all I can find. Idk, my eyes are kind of tired from all the binge-watching I did these past few days.

that's some brutally honest correction. hahaha. i like your brutality. tough love. ugh.

 

[cutemedievil]

cutemedievil knows

makatulog na nga lang wahahhaha it seems ..... youre interesting person huh...

No, you're more interesting than I am.

that's some brutally honest correction. hahaha. i like your brutality. tough love. ugh.

Thank you! Though that's kind of an overstatement, but anyways, do u want som pancakes?

 

[Lightrash]

No, you're more interesting than I am.

Thank you! Though that's kind of an overstatement, but anyways, do u want som pancakes?

anymore pancakes?

 

[cutemedievil]

anymore pancakes?

"Too late. Ate them all", she teasingly replied.

 

[madogou]

No, you're more interesting than I am.

Thank you! Though that's kind of an overstatement, but anyways, do u want som pancakes?

maybe wicked is the word?

"Too late. Ate them all", she teasingly replied.

"that's okay. i'll settle for some tea." he answered.

 

[MisterSenpai]

No, you're more interesting than I am.

Thank you! Though that's kind of an overstatement, but anyways, do u want som pancakes?

hahahaha

 

[MisterSenpai]

all of you guys makes me amazed and inspired to do more all i can...

 

[cutemedievil]

all of you guys makes me amazed and inspired to do more all i can...

Try & try until thou die,
Thou shall stop only when thou art divine.
Divine in writing, talent at peak,
Tomorrow won't be when, learning should never be quick.

 

[cutemedievil]

"that's okay. i'll settle for some tea." he answered.

"Okay!", she replied as she was pulling out the pancakes she hid in the fridge.