My gf was very traumatized about her past, but

[D e k k u]

hi. just wanna share ang aking story po about sa aking gf ngayon. uhmmm hindi ko alam kung paano ba ako makakapag simula pero sige heto naaa


my gf was currently studying for flight attendant. and im a student aviator(pilot). nakilala ko sya sa isang school kung saan ako nag aaral dati ng senior high at don sya nag aaral ng college ngayon. i met this girl na napaka ganda at cute. apaka bait, caring, loving, mysterious na makes me wonder na what if kilalanin ko sya.


dumating yung time na nakilala ko sya and then we started talking to each other na, late night talks, kwentuhan about sa buhay buhay.


months later, nagkita ulit kami then inaya nya akong mag 1v1 kami sa inuman. kwentuhan nanaman at nagkasiyahan kaming pareho, hanggang sa nalasing, yung mga saya nya nag turned into kalungkutan. nag confess na sya sakin about sa mga past nya and she's still holding back sa mga sinasabi nya (i already know what she means) na baka isipin ko daw na kung anong klaseng babae sya at baka di ko sya matanggap. i said to her na 'okay lang yan, just take your time para makubli mo lahat ng gusto mong sabihin sakin' and 'I'll take my time also na hintayin kong Sabihin lahat sakin at unawain ka at matulungan maka cope sa past experiences mo, handa akong yakapin ang mga past and imperfections mo'


a month later, we started dating. kada magkasama nalang kaming dalawa hindi parin nagbabago ang treatment nya sakin na puro distansya nalang palagi, i never felt na naging comfy sya sakin. started to wonder na kung nakakatulong ba talaga ako sakanya then paulit ulit kong sinisisi amg sarili ko kung may kulang ba sakin or may hinahanap ba sya. sabi ko okay lang to baka she needs more time to heal, hindi ako lalayo sa tabi nya no matter what happens. this girl definitely needs my love and care.


many months have passed, sinagot nya na ako then wala paring nagbabago sa way of treatment nya sakin. nakaramdam na ako ng lamig mula sakanya. hindi kona alam kung ano ba ang dapat maramdaman ko. i started to wonder ulit na maybe hindi ako nakakatulong sakanya, samantalang wala naman akong ibang ginawa kundi ang pasayahin sya palagi at makalimutan ang mga masalimuot nyang nakaraan.

paulit ulit ko ulit na tinatanong sa sarili ko na. 'do i deserve this kind of treatment?'

bakit ako ang nagsasuffer sa mga consequences ng mga kamailan ng mga maling tao na dumating sa buhay nya

alam ko wala akong karapatan para i judge ang napagdaanan nya sa buhay, ang tanging magagawa ko lamang ay unawain at tulungan sya. pero nothing worked i guess. hindi kona alam ngayon kung ipagpapatuloy ko pa ba itong love story naming dalawa.

i also have my needs as his man, hindi ko yon makita sakanya dahil wala talaga:<

i need your advice folks. wala akong ibang mapagsabihan nitong kinikimkim ko kaya I'll just drop it here. feel free to read, Adios!

 

[LordCED]

1st of all bata pa kyo at nag aaral p. 2nd disayon mo yan n ligawan xa at un nga naging kayo na alam mo naman n ganyan xa. Ano n tlga entenxon mo o gusto mo? halik, yakap o Xes kagad? Ang problem s mga bata ngaun mapupusok at hnd marunong mag isip na mkinig s ainasabi ng magulang. Imbis n ang problem mo lang matuto at magamit natutunan mo s buhay mo in future para makatulong k naman s family e eto k kumuha k ng bato na ipupukpok mo s ulo mo. Let go and learn skills then make money. Then tulong k s family mo o mag invest k para s future mo. Believe me madali nlng humanap ng mkakasama s habang buhay kapag prepare k. Kaya yan nanyayari dhil s lack of experience in life at hnd k prepare jan. In Godly related advice e search for right church then aralin ang bible para makapag pray k. Just says ng lang. I've been there in that situation. Kaya base in my experience lang yan nasasayo pdin kung ano gagawin.

 

[faye422]

Choice mo na ligawan sya then cold sya. Then naging kayo tapos cold pa rin sya. Maybe, di pa rin sya nakaka move on sa trauma nya in the past. Wag mo sya sukuan kung sa una pa lang alam mo na ganun na sya di ka naman bumitaw lalo na nung nanliligaw ka pa lang sa kanya, ngayon pa ba at kayo na? Parang nakikita ko, xes lang habol mo (sabi ni kuys). Nasa punto ka na talaga naman kelangan mo yun, pero kelangan din nya muna makamove on sa trauma nya in the past. Kung di mo maibigay ang assurance sa kanya na nasa tabi ka lang nya palagi, kumalas ka na iho, baka lalo mo lang sya masaktan pag tumagal ka kasi sigurado ko ikaw na lang kinakapitan nya, na alam nya nasa tabi ka nya palagi tapos ikaw di mo sya kaya intindihan kahit una pa lang alam mo na. Pag usapan nyo kung anong magiging situation nyo, bigyan mo assurance na di mo sya iiwan kahit anong mangyari kasi kelangan ka nya higit pa sa kelangan mo sya (kung kaya mo lang naman). If ever hindi mo kaya, ngayon pa lang layuan mo na sya.

 

[FutureFlash]

I think I've seen this film before, and you won't like the ending, charot. Gan'to din nangyari sa'kin. Tho we never get past the 'sinagot' stage, but after namin tinapos, may bago agad siya, usually reason na lang nila yung traumas nila. The truth is, nag-iiba lang ang isang tao kalag may nakilalansiyang bago

 

[abutchiki143]

Ayusin nya muna sarili niya. Di mo deserve yan. Period!

 

[Kaplok Kaplok]

Hindi mo trabaho ayusin sya. Dont fall for that trap. Pag seryoso ang isang tao sa relasyon, it is the future that matters, not the past.

 

[PHC_LaCe12]

ilan taon kayo?

 

[dummy01]

I don't see what makes her exceptional to you aside from her being attractive with emotional baggage which is kind of common nowadays. I think the red flag is already being raised since there is almost no progress in your relationship despite the time and effort you invested on her. The worst is the likelihood that she could be (or could've been) influenced by some edgy feminists in social media who are rabidly known to exploit/guilt-trip/manipulate men. If you look on the bright side, you have a great future ahead. Once you graduate and solidify your profession, it is almost guaranteed that more attractive women will come and get you like there is no tomorrow. The best move is to concentrate on your studies first. Ace that pilot profession you are pursuing and God knows who is the lucky woman you are going to end up with. Frankly, it is not worth to gamble your future on some chick who is not willing to reciprocate. Take my words as a grain of salt but in case you feel the urge, just rub one out. You'd then realized yeah it's not worth pursuing her. Good luck future captain.

 

[Coconut Sheep]

palagi ba kayo magkasama? nawiweirdan lang ako

 

[VoidHunter]

You don't deserve that treatment, dapat ang lalaki ay may emotional intelligence na di pinapairal ang emotion at ang nag ma-matter lang ay ang goal at future. If you think she is holding you back then leave her. Pahalagahan mo ang peace of mind mo. May kasabihang health is wealth.

 

[TheLesbianCollector]

As much as we wanna think that we can fix or change our loved ones, we can't.
She's the only one who can change herself— it is a choice that she needs to make.
Whether such is motivated by you or other circumstances, doesn't really matter.

It is not your responsibility to make your partner happy.
You should be able to do it on your own, then share that happiness with each other instead.

She may have some shortcomings, but you've been made aware of the reasons why prior to being in a relationship with her.

Ikaw ang nagsabing handa mong tanggapin lahat, panindigan mo.

I'm not saying that you don't have limits, but at least try to remember the reasons why you even started this commitment with her.

If you think waiting for her is no longer worth it, then let go.
It'll be unfair for her to shoulder the blame, coz you're in it too.

 

[N E G A N]

Push lang paps time will tell.

Its either mapuno kana or magbago sya kaya keep on going muna for now po.

 

[papabanana]

fallback ka lang niya paps.

 

[the1121789]

on the negative side kung may thirdparty (or naka cool off lang) posibleng ginamit lang ang trauma story nya para pang backup ka kung di sila nagwork, kung wala naman thirdparty wala naman malisya yung pagreveal ng weakness nya sayo as it's a sign of trust.

gano ba kalala yung trauma? kung need talaga pwede magpabook ng therapy/counseling/consultation (You do not have permission to view the full content of this post. Log in or register now.) or hanap ka paraan para makalimutan nya ang nakaraan (example move away from the place) pero mas okay seek professional kasi di na natin expertise unawain ang mga trauma kahit nagconfess sya sa iyo di agad agad mawawala (and actually baka po lalo sya naging negative dahil dito).
kung mahal na mahal nyo isa't isa gawaan nyo ng paraan, even if you let her go at least mag iimprove next relationship after therapy. kung dumidistansya sya baka naman di sya komportable kasi first time nya,
may previous relationship experience ba sya?

 

[frozenberyl]

ito payo ko sa brad. sundin mo, para mawala ang trauma nya. hindi basta basta mawawala yan sa pag tulong mo na naniisip mo.

Step 1.
Manood kayo ng tv sries ng 13 reasons why.
observe her reactions.
if nagbabago ang reaction nya per episode, observe mo lang.

halimbawa, nainis sya,
sa sunod, nag kokoment na sya.
basta ganyan. goods yan , kasi maeerase ang trauma sa isip nya.

Step 2
manood kayo ng vold. wag mo siyang gagalawin o take advantage na may mangyari sainyo.
hayaan mo lang siya na maging touchy , basta wag mong gagalawin siya. manood lang kayo.

Step 3,
paiyakin mo, awayin mo, tapos bigla mong yakapin,
yakapin mo sya ng mahigpit, kausapin mo na matulog kayo ng magkayakap kahit 30minutes lang.

Sounds funny pero yan ang effective way brad.

pero kung sa step 1. no reaction. then
step 2, nagalit at umiwas.

naku, iwan mo na yan.
bakit? hindi trauma yan.
defense mechanism na yun to gain your trust and attention. pa victim para sa kanya lang umikot ang mundo mo.

in other words , youre being manipulated brod.