Tutorial How to handle difficult forum members or quarrelsome conversations?

[-saseum gogi-]

Be clear about the issue.

To prepare for the conversation, you need to ask yourself two important questions:

• "What exactly is the behavior that is causing the problem?"
• "What is the impact that the behavior is having on you, the team or the organization?"

You need to reach clarity for yourself so you can articulate the issue in two or three succinct statements. If not, you risk going off on a tangent during the conversation. The lack of focus on the central issue will derail the conversation and sabotage your intentions. Stay on the topic.

Know your objective.

What do you want to accomplish with the conversation?

• To prove that his wrong and you're right?
• To destroy him and gain pride on doing it?
• To help him and the forum?

Be sure to have a rightful heart. Once you have determined this, plan how you will close the conversation. Don't end without clearly expressed action items.

• What is the person agreeing to do?
• What support are you committed to provide?
• What obstacles might prevent these remedial actions from taking place?
• What do you both agree to do to overcome potential obstacles?

Schedule a follow up to evaluate progress and definitively reach closure on the issue at hand.

Adopt a mindset of inquiry

Spend a little time to reflect on your attitude toward the situation and the person involved.

• What are your preconceived notions about it?

Your mindset will predetermine your reaction and interpretations of the other person's responses, so it pays to approach such a conversation with the right mindset—which in this context is one of inquiry.

Be open to hear first what the other person has to say before reaching closure in your mind. Even if the evidence is so clear that there is no reason to beat around the bush, we still owe it to the person to let them tell their story. A good member remains open and seeks a greater truth in any situation.

Manage the emotions

What starts as an annoyance, for example, can move to anger and, in extreme cases, escalate to rage. We can avoid this by being mindful of preserving the person's dignity—and treating them with respect—even if we totally disagree with them.

Just put into your mind that he is more capable than that and same as you are dealing with the current situation.

Be comfortable with silence.

There will be moments in the conversation where a silence occurs. Don't rush to fill it with words.

Just as the pause between musical notes helps us appreciate the music, so the periodic silence in the conversation allows us to hear what was said and lets the message sink in. A pause also has a calming effect and can help us connect better.

For example, if you are an extrovert, you're likely uncomfortable with silence, as you're used to thinking while you're speaking. This can be perceived as steamrolling or overbearing, especially if the other party is an introvert. Introverts want to think before they speak. Stop talking and allow them their moment—it can lead to a better outcome.

Preserve the relationship

A member who has high emotional intelligence is always mindful to limit any collateral damage to a relationship. It takes years to build bridges with people and only minutes to blow them up. Think about how the conversation can fix the situation, without erecting an irreparable wall between you and the person.

Be consistent

Ensure that your objective is fair and that you are using a consistent approach.

For example, if the person thinks you have one set of rules for this person and a different set for another, you'll be perceived as showing favoritism. Nothing erodes a relationship faster than perceived inequality.

Members have long-term memories of how you handled situations in the past. Aim for consistency in your approach. We trust a person who is consistent because we don't have to second-guess where they stand on important issues such as culture, corporate values and acceptable behaviors.

Choose the right place to have the conversation

If hindi po ma-settle do'n sa thread, you can talk about it privately on the conversation or on his profile page. If you can't create a conversation with him or or can't access on his profile page, you can invite him on your profile page and resolve there.

If the issue is irresolvable, let the staff(s) meddle in.

Always remember, "We're in this together. Let's solve the problem so that we could have a better forum."

If you're already an expert

Train others on how to handle like you do or an improvement of you. Please refrain from judging or discriminating if a member has a different perspective or don't have enough knowledge to a certain topic.

If ayaw mo talaga, you can still do these things

Option 1

• Unwatched the thread
• Browse to the other forums / sections
• Try mo sa Gags & Jokes

Option 2

• Kausapin mo mga Staff, they're there to help.

Credits : American Express (OF)

 

[Somnolent]

Choose the right place to have the conversation.

and,

Be comfortable with silence.

 

[fR31nD]

thanks

 

[Argument]

thanks sa info.

 

[Miz_Me]

Palaging isa puso at isip ng bawat isa na mas righteous ang ating kapwa kesa sa atin. Para iwas sa pagtatalo, humbleness and kindness is the best practice.

 

[Futility]

Sana ma-acquire ko itong lahat.
Pahiram pala nung quote doon sa "Preserve the relationships", nagandahan ako diyan.

 

[kaishkun]

Thanks sa Info have a great day ahead <3