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Before you have the conversation, ask yourself why you're not satisfied
you need to clarify first your feeling about the relationship“Ask yourself why you want to end it: Is there a lack of romantic feelings, do you have limited common ground, are you just not feeling it?.You need to plan ahead . Take time to consider your feelings and the reasons for your decision. Be true to yourself.Think of what you want and why you want it,Thinking about the other person's point of view and feelings can help you be sensitive.
Be prepare of you are going to deal with the other persons reaction upon breaking up.it’s important to refrain from becoming overly emotional and remain clear about your intention.
Don't drag it out.
Avoid giving heads up,Detremine how and when to have a talk.You should set up a fine deadline to rehearse.Pick a good location where you can talk privately“If you feel safe with your partner, do it in private where you can take time to talk through it and answer their questions.
Remember to be kind in the moment
Never has the golden rule been more applicable: Treat the other person as you would want to be treated. Because breakups involve a lot of feelings, sometimes, our emotions can get the best of us. But if you’re the one initiating the separation, be the bigger person and stick to your practiced script.Avoid saying anything hurtful,Letting the other person know the larger issues for the breakup isn’t the same as name-calling or belittling. Try to be respectful and avoid blaming them for the breakup. If they ask why you’re ending things, be honest, but refrain from insulting them by going into small details.
Avoid focusing on what you think they did wrong.
“The breakup conversation will most likely be uncomfortable, so be prepared for that., don’t turn it into the blame game. Instead, make the reasoning about yourself. “No one can argue with you about your own preferences or feelings; they can argue with you if you are vague or make statements/assumptions about their feelings.
Be direct.
You can be gentle while being clear and direct about what you want. “Kindness and empathy really go a long way in a difficult situation.Just validating the other person's feelings around the breakup can be healing. Use sentences that reflect your understanding of how the person feels, while also making sure you clearly express yourself.” Remember, this is another human being with feelings, not just some entity on the other end of your cell phone.Don’t doubt your decision just because you miss them or feel lonely at firsT.
Skip clichés like "it's not you, it's me."
The goal of a breakup is to let someone down easy and end things without a lot of hurt and anger; not to shred their self-esteem.A major no-no during the breakup convo is trite excuses .And don’t play the martyr.
Own the breakup
Listen to what they have to say and answer any questions they may have. Acknowledge the real issues, but also let them know about the things that attracted you to them in the first place. You can mention their good qualities without going into depth. Overall, try to remain firm and consistent.Finally, steer clear of false promises.
So it’s done. But a clean breakup conversation doesn’t always mean the absence of guilt and lingering feelings towards the other person.If you interact after the breakup, though, don’t tiptoe around the other person.That can be super insulting,instead Just say hello, ask about their life, share about yours, but most importantly behave in accordance to your belief that this is a strong, resourceful person who may not have been the right fit for you, but is the right fit for someone else.
excerpt from OphraDaily/HealthLine
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