Hehehe. Tamaan na ang matamaan :p
Teacher: Juan , what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Juan: A TEACHER MAAM
Teacher: Juan what is the chemical formula for water?
Juan: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Juan: Yesterday you said H to O....
Teacher: Maria, go to the map and find North America
Maria: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct! Now class who discovered America?
Teacher: How old is your father?
Kid: He is 6 years
Teacher: What?? How is this possible?
Kid: He became father only when i was born :)...
NARS : Duktor, bakit nyo tinanggihan yung pasyente kanina?
DUKTOR : Saan?, sa Delivery room?
NARS : Hindi, yung nasa Receiving room.
Teacher : Use the word "beautiful" in a sentence?
Student : "My teacher is beautiful, isn't she?"
Teacher : Thank you, it's very flattering. Now,...
Misis: Hon, anung gift mo sa akin sa silver anniversary natin?
Mister: Dadalhin kita sa China.
Misis: Wow, ang sweet naman. Eh, sa golden...
Pare: Ang galing ng nabili kong hearing aid. Hi tech at ang lakas ng dating!
Kumpare: Magkano ang bili mo?
Pare: Oo, kanina lang
Madre: Baka magbunga ang pagkakasala natin, Padre. Natatakot ako...
Padre: Ipaubaya natin ang lahat sa nasa itaas. Di nya tayo pababayaan....
Juan: Nang girlfriend ko pa lang ang misis ko ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Darna dahil seksi sya. Ngayon ang tawag ko sa kanya ay Dorna.
Mister: Hon, anung ulam natin?
Misis: Andyan sa mesa, pumili ka.
Mister: Hon, sardinas lang ang andito. Anu bang pagpipilian ko?
Gf: Binabalaan kita, malapit nang dumating ang Daddy ko!
Bf: Ha, eh wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
Gf: Oo nga, kaya kung may binabalak ka...
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off...
3 drunk guys entered a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, "We have reached...
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?...
70 ways to make a woman happy:
Number 1 is shopping.
And the rest is 69.
Haha. I totally disagree to this. :p
my mom still thinks that LOL means lots of love.
she sent me a message saying:
Your grandad has just died, LOL
Reporter: Any similarities between Jose Rizal, Andres Bonifacio and Ninoy Aquino?
Erap: All I know is that they all died during a holiday! That’s...
A man carrying 6 babies in a train. A lady sitting next to him asked,"are these ur babies?
"No I'm a condom salesman & these are Customer...
Wife: honey I want you to whisper dirty things in my ear!
Husband: kitchen, living room, dinning room, patio
Girl: Baby I am wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, I want more than that
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby I want something big and...
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually...
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there?
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never...
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
Isang araw sumakay ng Bus si Lola
Konduktor: Lola psensiya na po kasi puno na! Payag po ba kayo ng Patayo?
Lola: Tinamaan ka ng Lintek kung inabot...
GF Umiiyak: Bakit natin ginawa ito? Hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa.
BF: Ano? Isang beses lang naman, ah.
GF: Bakit, hindi...
Two wives are buying of gulay in the local market.
Wife 1: You know mare, whenever I see a potato naaalala ko ang itlog ng mister ko.
Husband: dear, puwede ka ba ngayon?
Wife: di ako pwede, pagod ako!
Husband: Is that final?!
Kapag ang palda ng babae ay may hati sa likod, ang ibig niyang sabihin ay,
“Halika, sundan mo ako!”
Kapag ang hati ng palda ay nasa gilid,...
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