Women
Anew poll suggests that women are twice as likely to lie as men – if respondents were telling the truth, that is. It may be irritating to be told, yet again, that women are more morally slippery than men (just as in Genesis) but one could also argue that women lie more because we are “nicer”.
The survey, funded by an insurance company, found that an overwhelming majority of lies were told in order to make someone feel better, to avoid trouble, or to make life simpler (and very rarely for false insurance claims). This was true of both men’s and women’s lies, the only clear difference being that women did it more often – some, apparently, up to 30 times a day.
So what is it that makes women so delightful, if untrustworthy? It seems that whichever side of the born/made debate you favour, you will find plenty of evidence to support the idea that women are inclined to be kind.
In the “nature” camp we have the notion that women are biologically programmed to care for helpless babies. This means that we not only have soft, cuddly, fat-retaining bodies, but that our brains are constructed in such a way as to make us communicative and understanding.
In the “nurture” camp we might hear that women have been coerced into being caring and accommodating as part of a long-term brainwashing campaign.
This began in Palaeolithic times, when the birth of agriculture meant that it was materially advantageous for females to stay at home weeding and breastfeeding while males went out to hunt. Being forced to loiter about in the village inevitably made women friendly, if a little gossipy – but it also meant that the men got all the excitement and glory. No wonder we succumbed to telling a few porkies to liven things up.
So, are our soothing lies genetically underpinned or culturally dictated? New developments in neuroscience throw light on marked differences between masculine and feminine brains. But, in case the notion that “men and women think differently, naturally” threatens to make things too simple, we also have to factor in a nurture element in the form of genetic switches – genes that are activated (or not) by environmental factors.
Our experiences affect our genes, making even supposedly hardwired qualities such as gender more fluid than we might previously have imagined.
Men can be incredibly emotionally responsive, and can tell just as good whoppers as women. Neuroplasticity is such that different brains can be developed in markedly different directions, producing great female mathematicians and male emoters alike.
But if gender is so blurry, how come women claim to lie so much more? Especially 46-year-olds in Plymouth, Cardiff and Brighton, who apparently are the most duplicitous.
One of the often-noted distinctions between male and female brains concerns our use of language. Men apparently processes language largely on the left side, while women tend to deal with language across the two hemispheres. This may explain why girls generally outperform boys at the level of language development — because they have access to more complex, emotional, intuitive means of processing verbal information.
The result of this may be that it’s often easier for females not only to read the effects of speech on others, but also to tailor their own speech to bring about the best possible reaction: in other words, to tell people what they want to hear.
While this might be considered a bit weak and sappy, it also shows a high level of empathy and verbal dexterity. White lies show human socialisation at its most crafty and sophisticated. And women are not only socialised to produce them, but also have the brain architecture to make us particularly good at it.
None of which is to say that women are better than men, or worse than men, or even fundamentally all that different. Not only can nurture affect us at the genetic level, potentially making us more biologically inclined to be emotionally responsive, but also, it seems, all of us have the capacity to be socialised this way or that, to identify with one *** or another, and for our bodies to respond accordingly.
Perhaps we will know gender equality has finally arrived when men become so “nice” that we can no longer trust a word they say to us. I, for one, can hardly wait.
Men
It’s true! Men lie more than girls: Women avoid honesty to save someone’s feelings, but males lie to save them money
It's official – men really are more dishonest than women.
While women typically avoid being honest to save someone’s feelings, men tend to fib to save them money or win an argument.
The average man fibs, or avoids having to tell the truth four times a week. In contrast, women stretch the truth three times a week.
Other untruths include ones relating to finances, not mentioning it when you have been undercharged and complimenting food you don't like.
Telling someone they look good in an outfit which doesn't really suit them,
Yes, men are bigger liars!
I don’t mean that men tell more lies, or are better at lying, or are less trustworthy than women. But men and women lie about different things.
When men lie, it’s often to look bigger – taller, richer, more powerful and more sexually attractive. In both personal ads and in face-to-face conversations, men tend to “inflate” the numbers by saying they make more money than they do, are taller than they are and have had more sexual partners than is factual.
Women, by contrast, tend to use lies to minimize – they pretend they are younger, weigh less, and have had fewer sexual partners.
In the workplace males and females alike fib, flatter, fabricate, prevaricate, equivocate, embellish, “take liberties with,” “bend,” or “stretch” the truth. They boast, conceal, falsify, omit, spread gossip, misinform, or cover-up embarrassing (perhaps even unethical) acts. They lie in order to avoid accepting responsibility, to build status and power, to “protect” others from hearing a negative truth, to preserve a sense of autonomy, to keep their jobs, to get out of unwanted work, to get on the good side of the boss, to be perceived as “team players” when their main interest is self-interest. They lie because they’re under pressure to perform and because (as one co-worker observed about his teammates) “they lack the guts to tell the boss that what is being asked isn’t doable.”
Most of the lies we tell are self-serving, meaning they are lies that benefit us. (The job candidate who exaggerates her accomplishments does so to look more qualified for the position.) Some are intended to benefit others. (The co-worker who compliments a nervous colleague does so to put that person at ease.) And some lies are a mixture. (The manager who tells competing candidates that he backs each of them, wants to boost the self-esteem of both people, but also wants to be “on the winning side” regardless of which one gets the job.)
I found no valid research to suggest that men and women lie at different rates — with the exception of one study on deception in an economic setting. (Researchers at the Stockholm School ofEconomics found that men are significantly more likely than women to lie to secure a monetary benefit.)
Here again, however, is wider agreement that men and women lie differently:
In the workplace, men tell more self-centered lies. They lie about their accomplishments, salaries, and status in an attempt to appear more powerful or interesting than they are.
Women also tell self-centered lies, but (and this is most apparent in their business dealings with other females) they tell more “other-oriented” lies. In my interviews, female managers frequently reported lying to protect someone’s feelings: It’s something I’m working on. I know how important it is to be totally candid with my staff — especially during their performance reviews — but I still hate to say anything that makes someone feel bad.
Women are also more likely to fake positive feelings – which is one reason that women smile more than men. While smiling can be a powerful and positive nonverbal cue – especially for signaling likeability and friendliness – women should be aware that, when excessive or inappropriate, smiling could also be confusing and downright deceptive. This is especially true if you smile while discussing a serious subject, expressing anger, or giving negative feedback.
So, yes, because men are more boastful they can reasonably be described as “bigger” liars. And women’s other-focused, often well-intentioned lies (because they are less blatantly self-serving), can reasonably be described as “smaller.” But that isn’t the entire story. Are men bigger liars than women? The real answer is: it depends on the destructive effect of the lie being told.
So please remember, what’s true in other facets of life is just as true of lying: “Size isn’t everything!”
Last edited:
