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signs that he is gay

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Jeanh, Jul 31, 2015.

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    There are lots of reasons why you might want to know if your friend is gay, but there are some important things that you have to understand about this situation before going forward. Someones sexuality is highly complex, highly private, and you may be starting more problems than you solve by trying to find out

    • Know that there are no definite physical signs that prove a person is gay.There are no outward signs that can clearly indicate that someone is gay 100% of the time. No physical signs, no behaviors: nothing. The only way you can know for sure is if someone tells you. Some behaviors or physical traits may be slightly more common in people that are gay but you should not use them to color your perception of a person.
    • People have good reasons to stay closeted sometimes. You may really want to know if your friend is gay, but there may be a good reason why they're staying closeted. By "outing" them, even to yourself, you may be putting them in danger. For example, his family may be violently homophobic and be deciding that he's gay, you may out him by accident by treating him different or implying something without meaning to.
    • Being interested in men does not mean he's not interested in women. If you're trying to figure out if your friend is gay because you want to date him (as a woman), it's important to remember that just because he might be interested in men doesn't mean he's not interested in women. This is why it's better to ask or just see how things develop between you, rather than just decide for yourself.
    • Even if he is gay, that should not inform your opinion of him. Another important thing to remember is that it's not very important whether or not he's gay. This piece of information should not have any impact on how you think of him or how you interact with him. Since it doesn't matter, then it's not very important for you to know and judging prematurely can only create problems.
    • Someone's sexuality is their business. At the end of the day, the most important thing to remember is that his sexuality is his business. Just like you wouldn't sit in front of someone and watch them make out with their partner (or watch even more intimate acts), you don't need to break in to that part of his life. All you can do is ask and let him decide if he wants to tell you

    Pay attention to how he talks about men. Listen when your friend talks and see what he says about other men. Does he frequently refer to other guys as being attractive? Does he gush about his favorite male characters on television or the latest hot-topic celebrity? Does he get all tongue tied around the quarterback or the office stud? Things like this can be a cue that he likes them with a little bit more than basic admiration.
    • For example, if he says something like, "Oh man, I spent all weekend hanging out with Jacob. He was so nice and felt so natural to be around him.
    • Think about how he talks about women. You might also want to look for language which shows a lack of interest in women or an absence of language that would normally show an interest in women. This can be another indicator that he's gay. Guys will generally get bashful and tongue tied around women that they like. If you're not seeing any of that, then he might be gay.
    • For example, does he get really reluctant or act uncomfortable when you offer to set him up on a date?

    Watch for secretive, ashamed, or embarrassed behavior. When someone is closeted, they often have to hide a lot of things about themselves. Your friend might even be out, just not to you, which means they have to hide a whole other life. Watch for signs that they're hiding something or that they're ashamed or embarrassed about something, since this can be an indication.
    • For example, if you invite him to go do something else during the same weekend as the Pride festival and he says that he is busy, that might be an indication
      1. Look for physical cues. One of the theories about why some people are born gay has to do with the hormones that they're exposed to before they're born. These hormone exposure levels may manifest in actual, physical ways which can be a vague indicator that a guy might be gay. Look for a feminine walk, body shape Please or Register to view links, or finger length Please or Register to view links. These can be signs that he was exposed to more estrogen than usual in utero, which may have an effect on brain development. However, it's incredibly important to remember that this is not a 100% fool-proof sign. There are lots of other factors that can contribute to these changes in the body, so don't point to this as your smoking gun.
        • In women, the ring and pointer fingers are the same length, while the ring finger is longer in men. Gay men are slightly more likely to have even fingers than straight men. However, there are factors (such as having a lot of older brothers) that can make this indicator completely irrelevant.

    Consider alternative possibilities. You should also consider what other possibilities all of these different signs might indicate. It is possible that your guy friend is not gay but instead falls somewhere else on the Kinsey scale of unicorns and awesomeness. He could be:
    • Bisexual, meaning he's interested in men and women.
    • Asexual, meaning that he naturally has no sexual desire.
    • He may just not be interested in you, if you're wondering why he hasn't made a move on you
    • Don't just outright ask "Are you gay?" It may sound inconsiderate.
    • If he says yes, don't be judgmental. Ever.
    • When getting to know him, don't just get to know him because you want to know that about him. Only do so if you actually care about him and want to be his friend.
    • If he doesn't want it to spread, he has his own reasons. Whatever you do, do not tell others unless you have permission from him to do so.



    While it might be stereotypical, it’s often true! Watch how meticulous he is with his grooming, and see what products he owns. While it’s good that he makes an effort, if he takes two hours to get ready he’s taken it a bit far! If Please or Register to view links than you and a huger shoe collection, that’s a big hint too!

    2. HIS IDOLS...

    Gay men often idolize people who have elaborate, over the top lifestyles. I’ve never met a gay man who hasn’t loved Cher, Whitney Houston and Paul O’Grady! If your Please or Register to view linksloves divas, or watching famous “out” men such as Graham Norton, he might be gay


    Again, this is a stereotype that’s always proven true for me! Please or Register to view links often love watching stereotypical “female” programmes, such as beauty pageants, that reinforce the importance of beauty and glamour. He might also love over the top makeover shows, and big award shows such as Please or Register to view links

    4. HIS EYES...

    Who does he look at when you are out? Do his eyes jump from man to man, does he focus on Please or Register to view links or does he not look at anyone at all? Like it or not, men have wandering eyes but a straight man will Please or Register to view links at other women, even subconsciously. If he makes more Please or Register to view links with men, he’s probably more interested in them..

    Gay men who haven’t yet Please or Register to view links often feel uncomfortable in public toilets, and either don’t go or use the toilet rather than the urinals. If he refuses to go to the toilet in public and instead wants to go home, it might hint to him not being comfortable in his sexuality. Remember, though, that some Please or Register to view links are really only comfortable using their own toilet

    6. HIS VIEW...
    Most straight men cannot understand gays. While this doesn’t mean they are homophobic, they just cannot understand why a Please or Register to view links would choose other men over women. If your boyfriend regularly talks about how gay men had a hard fight and should be accepted, or quotes Please or Register to view linksor Oprah, he might be trying to justify his sexuality

    7. HIS GAMING...

    Gay men will often pick a female character in a game, or choose a very hunky man. The reason for this is unknown, but it is psychologically proven to be correct! A study shows that Please or Register to view links almost always chose to play as Storm, while straight men chose from a range of men. So watch his gaming habits and see what charcater he picks as his avatar


    Listen for the way he compliments you. Does he tell you that you look beautiful, or tell you that your jacket goes great with those Please or Register to view links and you should finish the look with diamante boots and pink nail varnish? Please or Register to view links are often very fashionable, so see how clued up he is

    9. HIS PROFILE...

    Is his MySpace full of men he doesn’t know? Does he have a secret Please or Register to view links? Social networking sites are often the place Please or Register to view links “in the closet” let themselves go a little, and be themselves. So they can offer big hints as to what he’s really like! It’s an even bigger hint if his new Please or Register to view links have particularly revealing or sê×ÿ pictures

    10. HE HATES GAYS...
    He might display an over the top rage at gays. This is a classic reaction to prevent Please or Register to view links from guessing he is gay. As the homage goes, the greatest homophobe is the homosexual! It’s worth bearing in mind that some Please or Register to view linksactually cannot stand gays, however, and it isn’t always a sign of trouble.

    If you still think he may be gay, it’s time to sit down and talk to him. Remember that he might be feeling confused, and that however hurt you feel, there’s a reason why you Please or Register to view links him and you shouldn’t use his sexuality to hurt him. He won’t have been trying to hurt you, and probably honestly thought he could “change.” Be respectful, and calm, during the talk. Have you got a tip for finding out if he’s gay? Please let me know
    lablab likes this.
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