P
PurpleFox
Guest
Establish that the relationship is definitely over. Once you do this, you can both begin to work through the hurt and the anger and find a way to move on with your life.
Find a way to move forward. People deal with break ups differently. Some people get very angry and are inclined to burn all his things, some will be very depressed for a long time and hang on to all the memories and some will pretend they don't care.
Think realistically. The two of you obviously broke up for a reason so try not to dwell on what could have been or who was at fault the most. Remember the good times but don't idealize him just because you miss him; make sure you recall the bad times too.
Don't take him back straight away. When people break up, the shock and upset caused is often so great that it makes their judgement blurred. If you got back together straight away, it might be okay for a while but eventually the old problems will start to creep their way back in. The way you feel now isn't the way you will feel six months or a year down the line. Give it some time.
Get some space. Even if your goal is to be friends eventually, you need some time to start off with. Things will be too raw for you to be friends while one or both of you is still hurting. You need time away from the relationship to evaluate what you want and to learn how to be yourself again. If you are somebody who constantly needs to check his Facebook, bombard him with texts or look through old pictures, delete them! Delete his number, get rid of his things.
Embrace single life! Take every opportunity, do things you couldn't do before and fill your time. However, make sure you give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your relationship.
Stand tall. This isn't about showing him you're not upset or that you don't care because obviously you do but have dignity and pride. Try not to get too low.
Deal with things in your own time. There will be so many people telling you different things but just do what feels right in your heart. If it takes you a month or two to stop sleeping in his jacket then so be it and don't feel bad for it.
Let go. Holding grudges and being angry is very consuming and takes a lot of effort. You're better than that and once you face facts, it does get easier. Try not to think about it too much, don't let it take over your life. Learn how to be by yourself outside a relationship. Don't do things just to spite the other person.
Find a way to move forward. People deal with break ups differently. Some people get very angry and are inclined to burn all his things, some will be very depressed for a long time and hang on to all the memories and some will pretend they don't care.
Think realistically. The two of you obviously broke up for a reason so try not to dwell on what could have been or who was at fault the most. Remember the good times but don't idealize him just because you miss him; make sure you recall the bad times too.
Don't take him back straight away. When people break up, the shock and upset caused is often so great that it makes their judgement blurred. If you got back together straight away, it might be okay for a while but eventually the old problems will start to creep their way back in. The way you feel now isn't the way you will feel six months or a year down the line. Give it some time.
Get some space. Even if your goal is to be friends eventually, you need some time to start off with. Things will be too raw for you to be friends while one or both of you is still hurting. You need time away from the relationship to evaluate what you want and to learn how to be yourself again. If you are somebody who constantly needs to check his Facebook, bombard him with texts or look through old pictures, delete them! Delete his number, get rid of his things.
Embrace single life! Take every opportunity, do things you couldn't do before and fill your time. However, make sure you give yourself time to grieve for the loss of your relationship.
Stand tall. This isn't about showing him you're not upset or that you don't care because obviously you do but have dignity and pride. Try not to get too low.
Deal with things in your own time. There will be so many people telling you different things but just do what feels right in your heart. If it takes you a month or two to stop sleeping in his jacket then so be it and don't feel bad for it.
Let go. Holding grudges and being angry is very consuming and takes a lot of effort. You're better than that and once you face facts, it does get easier. Try not to think about it too much, don't let it take over your life. Learn how to be by yourself outside a relationship. Don't do things just to spite the other person.
