J
Jeanh
Guest
A Married Man As A True Husband
Both men and women have a need for companionship and sexual needs, and marriage is designed to fulfil those needs. However, a husband must at all course look for the satisfaction and wellbeing of the wife, being it materially, sexually or emotionally. Despite any wealth she may have, the husband is obligated to provide his wife with food, shelter and clothing. This is not to say that, the husband should spend beyond his capabilities or the wife is entitled to make unreasonable demands. The Holy Qur’an actually explains it as:
‘Let the man of means spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.’ (Qur’an 65:7)
Let me state categorically that, husbands should take their wives as more important to them than their children. Before the children, there was a wife whom you cherished and loved dearly. You married the woman primarily not because of the children, but because you love her.
A married man is first a husband before anything else. For that reason, his wife must always come first. The definition of the word ‘husband’ in Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary better sums it up as, ‘a man to whom a woman is married.’
God established the foundation for marriage in His creative work, and we will find the purpose of God in marriage by understanding the foundation. Let’s consider these verses in the Holy Bible when the Pharisees asked the Lord Jesus Christ a question about the permanence and sanctity of marriage.
‘The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him; Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them; have ye not read, that which made them at the beginning made them male and female; And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.’ (Matthew 19:3-6)
Christ could have cited examples of contemporary ideas on marriage that were expounded by the great thinkers of His day. However, His reference to Genesis proves that, marriage is not just a physical or emotional necessity, but in fact, a relationship of mutual rights and obligations based on divine guidance. Therefore, God created men and women with complimentary natures.
‘…They are garments for you and you are garments for them.’ (Qur’an 2:187)
Clothing provides physical protection and covers the beauty and faults of the body. Likewise, a spouse is viewed this way. Each protects the other and hides the faults and compliments the characteristics of the spouse.
‘And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he woman, and brought her unto the man.’ (Genesis 2:21-22)
Oneness involves true personal intimacy that is much deeper than physical intimacy between just the husband and the wife. From the above enlightenments, it is clear that children are born into the family, they do not make the family. They come to meet and flourish the family which is made up of a husband and wife only.
I am stressing on this point because some husbands believe that the ultimate aim for marriage is having children, and they pay no attention to their wives immediately children are born into the family. They give all the attention to the children and leave none for their wives. Some wives also do the same. That is wrong, the ultimate aim for marriage is the love and intimacy you share with a woman called your wife for the rest of your life.
Both men and women have a need for companionship and sexual needs, and marriage is designed to fulfil those needs. However, a husband must at all course look for the satisfaction and wellbeing of the wife, being it materially, sexually or emotionally. Despite any wealth she may have, the husband is obligated to provide his wife with food, shelter and clothing. This is not to say that, the husband should spend beyond his capabilities or the wife is entitled to make unreasonable demands. The Holy Qur’an actually explains it as:
‘Let the man of means spend according to his means, and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him. Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allah will grant after hardship, ease.’ (Qur’an 65:7)
Let me state categorically that, husbands should take their wives as more important to them than their children. Before the children, there was a wife whom you cherished and loved dearly. You married the woman primarily not because of the children, but because you love her.
A married man is first a husband before anything else. For that reason, his wife must always come first. The definition of the word ‘husband’ in Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary better sums it up as, ‘a man to whom a woman is married.’
God established the foundation for marriage in His creative work, and we will find the purpose of God in marriage by understanding the foundation. Let’s consider these verses in the Holy Bible when the Pharisees asked the Lord Jesus Christ a question about the permanence and sanctity of marriage.
‘The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him; Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
And he answered and said unto them; have ye not read, that which made them at the beginning made them male and female; And said, for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore, they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.’ (Matthew 19:3-6)
Christ could have cited examples of contemporary ideas on marriage that were expounded by the great thinkers of His day. However, His reference to Genesis proves that, marriage is not just a physical or emotional necessity, but in fact, a relationship of mutual rights and obligations based on divine guidance. Therefore, God created men and women with complimentary natures.
‘…They are garments for you and you are garments for them.’ (Qur’an 2:187)
Clothing provides physical protection and covers the beauty and faults of the body. Likewise, a spouse is viewed this way. Each protects the other and hides the faults and compliments the characteristics of the spouse.
‘And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he woman, and brought her unto the man.’ (Genesis 2:21-22)
Oneness involves true personal intimacy that is much deeper than physical intimacy between just the husband and the wife. From the above enlightenments, it is clear that children are born into the family, they do not make the family. They come to meet and flourish the family which is made up of a husband and wife only.
I am stressing on this point because some husbands believe that the ultimate aim for marriage is having children, and they pay no attention to their wives immediately children are born into the family. They give all the attention to the children and leave none for their wives. Some wives also do the same. That is wrong, the ultimate aim for marriage is the love and intimacy you share with a woman called your wife for the rest of your life.
