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5 Ways Being Too Nice Can Hurt You

Discussion in 'Off-Topic' started by PurpleFox, Jul 2, 2015.

  1. 1. People will see you as weak...
    ... and take advantage. This first point is no shock. This is generally the rap against being too quick to put your needs aside in favor of the needs of others, and many, many respondents pointed out this danger. "You can never be too nice to people, but you must nonetheless, be vigilant, as some will see it as a sign of weakness and try to take advantage of you," warns Quora user Christopher Kosel in one representative answer.

    2. You forget to be nice to yourself
    "Being nice to others is good," says student Shilpi Singh in her answer, but don't "forget to be nice to yourself!" This is also Please or Register to view links that is often cited by experts on entrepreneurship. Being responsive is great for your business, but take your focus on meeting others' needs to far and you'll end up with no time left over to work on your own priorities or the longer-term issues that are essential to your company's health.

    Struggling with balancing being there for your customers and employees and having time for long-term strategy (or your own physical and Please or Register to view links)? You're not alone. Thankfully, there's a boatload of good advice out there on how to set Please or Register to view links and Please or Register to view links (including Please or Register to view links for different situations).

    3. You attract the wrong kind of people
    Kindness may be a prerequisite for healthy and meaningful relationships, but an utter inability to set boundaries can come across as an invitation to Please or Register to view links, cautions poster Borang Touch. Be excessively nice and "you will start to attract needy, whiny, overly emotional, demanding/controlling, 'guilt tripping you if you don't do something for them' types of people," she writes.

    4. Some people will distrust you
    Let's face it, genuinely nice people aren't rare, but especially in some corners of the business and professional world, they're hardly in the majority either. This sad fact means that if you are truly nice, you're liable to be occasionally misunderstood and even viewed with suspicion, claims author Anila Syed. People will "believe that you have an ulterior motive in mind, otherwise, why would you be doing all these special things?" she warns. "Just as there is no such thing as a free lunch, there can not, surely, be such a thing as 'too nice' for no reason," according to these doubters.

    5. You'll warp your expectations
    Being endlessly selfless can skew your perspective, according to computer science grad student Vignesh Natarajan, leading you to expect others to put their interests aside for you just as you would for them. "If someone is too nice to people, they start expecting unreasonable amount of niceness from others as well. This always leads to the nice ones thinking others are being mean to them or taking them for granted," he writes. "A lot of people cannot handle this and when they talk about how they're nice to everyone while others take them for granted, they tend to sound very entitled."
    Aya19, juggernaut14 and derx like this.
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